why won't my software download??!?!
I just love(imagine that word laced with sarcasm) how certain websites make it extremely pesky to download their software. Seems pretty detrimental in the grand scheme of themes. Grrrrr... For some reason, I am horribly technologically deficient today. Not sure why. I think i'm just in a fog.
I got a call this morning that my dad was in the hospital at around 6:45, and instead of just telling me that he was fine my grandfather strung me along until 8:30, telling me that he'd have to call me back no less then four times. Finally, at 8:30 he says that he's fine and that he's been in the hospital since FRIDAY. Wtf?! Thanks for letting me know in a timely manner. Really. I appreciate it.
So, I was late to work. Really late. Well, earlier than I would have been had my uncle not seen me walking to the T and driven me to work. But still. And I had a headache, which only got progressively worse as the day went on. Fabulous. I ended up going home a skosh early because my boss (who is, by the way, the world's best boss.) knew I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't focus, anyway.
Today was a really weird day overall and since I feel like crap, I really want to just go to bed, close my eyes, and have it be morning really soon. It's just that sort of day. But will that actually happen? Um. No. I have to workout.
The only good part about today was the fact that... ::::drumroll:::: I wore a gorgeous outfit to work that I had bought last fall and had never even worn because it was waaay too small. Looked pretty damn good today, I must say.
How did I rediscover this treasure? Well, what happened was that I shoved tons of clothes that didn't fit into the bins with my winter clothes, thinking I would just deal with them later. I was a big fan of denial in those days. Thankfully, I guess my idiocy in buying terrific clothes that didn't fit me turned out (strictly by a miracle, that is)to be a stroke of genius because I have a brand new wardrobe. The scary thing? It probably won't fit me all that much longer. It's terrifying for me to picture myself getting even thinner because, well, I've never actually really been much thinner than this, even when I was dancing and ice skating in high school. I have never seen myself as a thin adult. Ever.
As I sit here typing in my now baggy favorite sweatshirt, I find myself wondering how much of my identity has been wrapped up in my weight, especially since I seem to be undergoing alot of psychological changes throughout this process. I think my attitude is changing- towards myself, and also towards the world. I'm not so intent on keeping everyone away.
I am, however, still pretty pissed off at the world for keeping me out when I was fat. What the hell? It's true what they say, I don't care who says otherwise. If you are a fat girl, particularly my age, the only way to fit in is to either be the life of the party (loud, funny, obnoxious) or to slink off into a corner by yourself. I've done both and neither was particularly satisfying. So now that i'm not the fat girl anymore where does that leave me? Can I be myself now??
I got a call this morning that my dad was in the hospital at around 6:45, and instead of just telling me that he was fine my grandfather strung me along until 8:30, telling me that he'd have to call me back no less then four times. Finally, at 8:30 he says that he's fine and that he's been in the hospital since FRIDAY. Wtf?! Thanks for letting me know in a timely manner. Really. I appreciate it.
So, I was late to work. Really late. Well, earlier than I would have been had my uncle not seen me walking to the T and driven me to work. But still. And I had a headache, which only got progressively worse as the day went on. Fabulous. I ended up going home a skosh early because my boss (who is, by the way, the world's best boss.) knew I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't focus, anyway.
Today was a really weird day overall and since I feel like crap, I really want to just go to bed, close my eyes, and have it be morning really soon. It's just that sort of day. But will that actually happen? Um. No. I have to workout.
The only good part about today was the fact that... ::::drumroll:::: I wore a gorgeous outfit to work that I had bought last fall and had never even worn because it was waaay too small. Looked pretty damn good today, I must say.
How did I rediscover this treasure? Well, what happened was that I shoved tons of clothes that didn't fit into the bins with my winter clothes, thinking I would just deal with them later. I was a big fan of denial in those days. Thankfully, I guess my idiocy in buying terrific clothes that didn't fit me turned out (strictly by a miracle, that is)to be a stroke of genius because I have a brand new wardrobe. The scary thing? It probably won't fit me all that much longer. It's terrifying for me to picture myself getting even thinner because, well, I've never actually really been much thinner than this, even when I was dancing and ice skating in high school. I have never seen myself as a thin adult. Ever.
As I sit here typing in my now baggy favorite sweatshirt, I find myself wondering how much of my identity has been wrapped up in my weight, especially since I seem to be undergoing alot of psychological changes throughout this process. I think my attitude is changing- towards myself, and also towards the world. I'm not so intent on keeping everyone away.
I am, however, still pretty pissed off at the world for keeping me out when I was fat. What the hell? It's true what they say, I don't care who says otherwise. If you are a fat girl, particularly my age, the only way to fit in is to either be the life of the party (loud, funny, obnoxious) or to slink off into a corner by yourself. I've done both and neither was particularly satisfying. So now that i'm not the fat girl anymore where does that leave me? Can I be myself now??
posted by Jenny @ 5:04 PM
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